Movie Lines

Here’s a few of my all-time favorite movie quotes and/or lines. Your favorites and suggestions are welcome as always…I will most likely be adding to this list as we go:

Added 11/4/2008:

Anchorman

• love scotch. Scotchy, scotch, scotch. Here it goes down, down into my belly…
• I’ll have three fingers of Glenlivet, with a little bit of pepper… and some cheese.
• I’m very important. I have many leather-bound books and my apartment smells of rich mahogany.
• Ron, I know it sounds harsh, but God does not want her to live.
• The only way to bag a classy lady is to give her two tickets to the gun show…
• Mmmmm… I look good. I mean really good. Hey everyone come see how good I look.
• Knights of Columbus, that hurt.

 Dumb and Dumber

• Just when I thought you couldn’t get any dumber, you go and do something like this… and totally redeem yourself!
• According to the map we’ve only gone 4 inches.
• Don’t you people have homes?
• Don’t you people have jobs?
• I’m going to give you a little advice. There’s a force in the universe that makes things happen. And all you have to do is get in touch with it, stop thinking, let things happen, and be the ball.

 

Added 8/9/2008:

City Slickers

•  “Dear Lord we give you Curly, try not to piss him off!”
• I lost my wife, I lost my job, and I’m developing some kind of rash!
• Great gobs of goose shit!
• When you three first got here, you were as worthless as hen shit on a pump handle.
• I crap bigger than you!
• Excuse me, el doctor! Hello…? Don’t sew anything up that’s supposed to remain open, OK?
• Women need a reason for having sex, men just need a place.

Airplane

• This fog is getting thicker…And Leon is getting laaaaarrrrrger.
• Striker, listen, and you listen close: flying a plane is no different than riding a bicycle, just a lot harder to put baseball cards in the spokes.
• Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit drinking.
• Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit smoking.
• Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue.
• Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit amphetamines
• Joey, have you ever been to a Turkish prison?
• Joey, do you like movies about gladiators?
• Elaine, you’re a member of this crew. Can you face some unpleasant facts?…No
• The tower, the tower! Rapunzel, Rapunzel!

 

A Time to Kill

• If you win this case, justice will prevail, and if you lose, justice will also prevail. Now that is a strange case.

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 Added 7/31/2008:

The Sandlot

• Anyone who wants to be a can’t-hack-it pantywaist who wears their mama’s bra, raise your hand. [Everyone raises their hands.]
• foor-evv-errrr!
•  He kissed her. He kissed her hard… and good
• COME ON!! If I stand here any longer my clothes’ll go out of fashion
• Squints was pervin a dish
• You’re killing me Smalls! You’re killing me!
• if my dog was as ugly as you, id shave his ass and teach him to walk backwards
• I’m bakin’ like a toasted cheeser out here!
• She keeps oiling. And lotioning. And oiling. That’s it! I can’t take it anymore!
• hey Mom, Im going to go Play some Ball
• Please catch it! Please catch it!

 Saturday Night Fever

• Four dollars? You know what four dollars buys today? It don’t even buy three dollars!
• There are ways of killing yourself without killing yourself.
• I feel like breakin your broken leg!
• You’re praying for God to make Frank Jr. call you? You’re turning God into a telephone operator!
• Geeze, you MAKE IT with some girls and they think they got the right to DANCE with ya!

 Lonesome Dove

• Any man with any sense t’all can tell when it’s sundown without you ringin that bell
• what’s good for me ain’t necessarily good for the weak minded.
• I’d like a chance to shoot at an educated man at least once in my life
• Well Woodrow, you do more work than you got to, so it’s my obligation to do less
• They don’t know but the wrath of the Lord is about to descend upon ‘em.
• Lets go on and go if we’re going.
• .. They say you’re a man of vision!.. A man of vision, huh?.. Hell of a vision.
• It’s a little early in the day to go wigglin’ your bean, ain’t it Jake?
• I can find Texas but how do I find July?!
• Well, I’m glad I ain’t scared to be lazy.
• We got enough to do around here without you rid’n into town.
• By God Woodrow, it’s been quite a party, ain’t it?

 The Incredibles

• Kid on tricycle: That was totally wicked!
• I’ll only be the best by a tiny bit!
• Mr. Incredible: Hahahahaa! Oh! My back!
• Who is it? What do you want? My God you’ve gotten fat
• Hi, this is Kari. Sorry for freaking out; but your baby has special needs!
• “Honey?” “What?” “Where is my supersuit?”
• “You tell me where my suit is, woman! We are talking about the greater good!” “Greater good? I am you wife! I am the greatest good you are ever gonna get!”
• Well you know where he is. Go, confront the problem, Fight! Win! and call me when you get back darling I enjoy our visits

 On Golden Pond

• Chelsea, you’ve got a great big chip on your shoulder that looks very unattractive…
• Someone’s at the door. It’s me you old poop!!!
• –You ever read ‘Treasure Island’? –No. –Go read it.

 The Lion King

• They call me Mr. Pig!
• Creepy little monkey
• Let me get this straight. You know her, and she knows you, but she wants to eat him. And everyone’s okay with that? DID I MISS SOMETHING?
• right.. so how do we ditch the dodo?
• What do you want me to do, dress in drag and do the hula?
• To you, Pumbaa, everything’s gas.

Chicken Run

• I swear she ain’t using real words.
• Why you thievin’ little buggers
• Oh, me whole life flashed before me eyes!! It was really boring.
• Pushy americans, always showing up late for every war!
• Pushy Americans ! Over paid , over sexed and over HERE
• I don’t want to be a pie. I don’t like gravy.
• “You mean you never actually “flew” the plane?” “Good heavens, no! I’m a chicken! The Royal Air Force doesn’t allow chickens behind the controls of complex aircraft.”
• “So Ginger, did you have a good holiday?” “I wasn’t on holiday, Babs. I was in solitary confinement.” “Well, it’s nice to have a little time to yourself.”

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Blazing Saddles:

• Excuse me while I whip this out.
• What in the wide, wide world of sports’s a-goin’ on here?!
• Gentlemen, please. Rest your sphincters.
• Gal-darnit, Mr. Lamarr, you use your tongue prettier than a 20-dollar whore.

 Forrest Gump

• Me and Jenny goes together like peas and carrots.
• I’m sorry I ruined your New Year’s Eve party, Lieutenant Dan. She tasted like cigarettes.
• Sometimes, I guess there’s just not enough rocks.
• When I was in China on the All-American Ping Pong team, I just loved playing ping-pong with my Flexolite ping pong paddle.
• And cause I was a gazillionaire, and I liked doin it so much, I cut that grass for free.
• I’m not a smart man… but I know what love is.
• Anyway, like I was sayin’, shrimp is the fruit of the sea. You can barbecue it, boil it, broil it, bake it, saute it. Dey’s uh, shrimp-kabobs, shrimp creole, shrimp gumbo. Pan fried, deep fried, stir-fried. There’s pineapple shrimp, lemon shrimp, coconut shrimp, pepper shrimp, shrimp soup, shrimp stew, shrimp salad, shrimp and potatoes, shrimp burger, shrimp sandwich. That- that’s about it.
• Oh, yes sir. Bit me right in the buttocks. They said it was a million dollar wound, but the army must keep that money ’cause I still haven’t seen a nickel of that million dollars.

 A League of Their Own

• Well, bite my butt and call me an apple.
• Are you crying? Are you crying? ARE YOU CRYING? There’s no crying! THERE’S NO CRYING IN BASEBALL!
• Uh, Lord, hallowed be Thy name. May our feet be swift; may our bats be mighty; may our balls… be plentiful. Lord, I’d just like to thank You for that waitress in South Bend. You know who she is – she kept calling Your name. And God, these are good girls, and they work hard. Just help them see it all the way through. Okay, that’s it.
• Take me home momma and put me to bed. I have seen enough to know I have seen too much.

 Good Morning Vietnam

• You better not get involved in anything. You better not even come within range of anything that happens or your ass is grass and I’m a lawn mower
• Hey, is it a little too early for being that loud? Hey, too late. It’s 0600. What’s the “0″ stand for? Oh my God it’s early!
• “Captain Hauk sucks the sweat off a dead man’s balls.” I have no idea what that means, sir, but it seems very negative to me.

Popeye

• I would gladly pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today.

Spaceballs

• You have the ring, and I see your Schwartz is as big as mine. Now, let’s see how well you handle it.
• Never underestimate the power of the Schwartz!
• I’m a Mawg: half-man, half-dog. I’m my own best friend.
• Okay, princess. That’s it. The fairy tale is over. Welcome to real life!
• Any minute now the Spaceballs are gonna make a major U-turn, head back this way and make us all dead!
• Buckle up back there, we’re going into hyperactive!
• Ludicrous speed . . . go!
• Who dares enter the sacred and awesome presence of the everlasting know-it-all, Yogurt!

 Stand by Me

• We talked into the night–the kind of talk that seemed important until you discover girls.

 Tombstone

 

• I’m your huckleberry.
• You gonna do somethin’? Or are you just gonna stand there and bleed?
• Make no mistake, it’s not revenge he’s after. It’s a reckonin’.
• I stand corrected, Wyatt. You’re an oak.
• Maybe poker’s just not your game, Ike. I know: let’s have a spelling contest.
• So run, you cur… RUN! Tell all the other curs the law’s comin’! You tell ‘em I’M coming… and hell’s coming with me, you hear?…Hell’s coming with me!
• Look at all the stars. You look up and you think, “God made all this and He remembered to make a little speck like me.” It’s kind of flattering, really.

 2001: A Space Odyssey

• This mission is too important for me to allow you to jeopardize it.

 

Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory

• Invention, my dear friends, is 93% perspiration, 6% electricity, 4% evaporation, and 2% butterscotch ripple.
• So shines a good deed in a weary world.
• A little nonsense now and then, is relished by the wisest men.
• I’m sorry, but all questions must be submitted in writing.
• It happens every time, they all become blueberries!
• If the good Lord had intended us to walk, he wouldn’t have invented roller-skates.

Wayne’s World

• Turn it off, man! Turn it off! It’s sucking my will to live!

 Young Frankenstein

• Put . . . the candle . . . back!

 Monty Python and the Holy Grail

• I don’t want to talk to you, no more, you empty-headed animal, food trough wiper. I fart in your general direction. You mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries.
• You tit! I soiled my armor I was so scared!
• Run away!
• Follow, but follow only if ye be men of valor! For the entrance to this cave is guarded by a creature so fowl, so cruel that no man yet has fought with it and lived. Bones of four fifty men lie strewn about its lair! So, brave knights, if you do doubt your courage, or your strength, come nay further, for death awaits you all . . . with nasty big pointy teeth!
• And the Lord spoke, saying, “First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then, shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shalt be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shalt be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out! Once the number three, being the third number be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thou foe, who, being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it.”